Well...I guess you'll have to forgive me if I'm not as wonderfully descriptive as usual. :) However...that means shorter entries for you to read...aren't you lucky. haha! But just wait, that perfectionist part of me will kick in and I'll end up making it as long as it normally is...muaha....
ahem.
Anyways...time to play catch up.
Monday and Tuesday, February 21-22
...at the internship I just mainly did more Photoshop tutorials. I'm getting more of a grip on this whole design thing. It's cool to see images actually come together. OH! I also got to meet Natalie, the other employee at Hatch. She just got back from a visit to her home in South Africa. It's been neat getting to talk with her about cultural differences and stuff...because she knows how it feels to come to another country.
Hmm...I can't recall if it was this Tuesday night or the one before when we had a Vandon House "family meal." Mark and Beth made us Shepherd's pie...English style. For dessert we had bread and butter pudding...literally buttered bread...with hot pudding on top. Everything was very tasty. Sadly, I didn't get a picture.
Speaking of pictures! Here's a picture of the finished sculpture I helped with at Hatch awhile ago:
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| Isn't it cool!?? |
To give you some background: The day my flight left from Des Moines to go to London was the day he gave his last sermon...and it sucked not getting to be there to support him! For those of you who don't know the story...well it's a long one so I'll try to keep this short. I grew up in this church and it is VERY near and dear to my heart. It was basically my life in high school and all of my friends were in the youth group. I was involved in everything!! They were family to me...a part of what made home...home. But during my freshman year of college...things started happening between my family and this church...one thing led to another and we decided to leave. Maybe someday I'll write a book about it. I'm better at writing than speaking anyway.
Isn't it amazing at how much something and someones (because the church is much more than a "place") that you love with all your heart...can be the ones that hurt you the most. And no, this isn't one of those stories about how the church hurt me so I decided that Christianity wasn't for me. No, I follow Jesus, not the other humans who follow him. Humans screw up...but Jesus is perfect. And I love Him more and more everyday. My Prince of Peace. <3 <3 Anyways, before I go into raptures about how AWEsome He is...let me continue...
I supported the reasons for my family leaving...but that didn't mean I still didn't love this church and the people in it and I prayed for peace and a new focus/vision for this church everyday. I think I still held on to this hope that things would be pieced back together and I could go back. But the week before I left for London, I found out that my pastor had basically been pushed into a position where he found it best to leave. This destroyed just about all hope I had of returning...because I know, with all the people gone that had been apart of my family...it won't be the same, at all.
So on this Sunday...the rest of my family went back for one last service...to hear my pastor's last sermon. And I was on a plane.
So there I lay in bed Tuesday night...and suddenly memories starting flooding through my mind like a film strip. They slammed into my brain unexpectedly like a freight train and I just started sobbing...couldn't stop. Memories from Sunday school, the smell of play dough in the nursery, Father Abraham, Stop Go Watch, VBS, playing Sardines...knowing every little crevice of that building, being the janitor, performing in the drama group, all my youth group "crushes" and gal pals, playing flute for church, finding God in those pews, "How he loves".....hundreds upon hundreds of fond memories!
I've never really had a loved one die before....but I felt like the grief I had that night was as if someone had. And really...it has. The church I once knew...a giant piece of my life...has died. At least...the way I once knew it has.
I couldn't sleep. I prayed...but couldn't get peace. I just wanted to cry. I can't fix anything...there's nothing I can do...and that's the worst part. Feeling voiceless...except for prayer. So...sleepless, I emailed my mom and let the words flow...because there's no one here I could talk to who would understand. They all just look at me with blank faces...not understanding how one church could hold such a tight grip on my life...and the grief when that cord is cut. Like learning to breathe again...redefining this idea I have of what church actually is.
One thing I know. I had good memories...and God's got a magnificent plan for the future. I can't see it, but He's got some amazing things up His sleeve...and I am SO GLAD He is in control. Because we tend to make things messy, don't we? :)
I write from the heart...I can't hide it. Vice or virtue? Well, I guess it depends on who you are reading this. :D Remember what I said about not commenting on my blogs?...that includes sending me messages on facebook. Don't even think about it. :)
Alright...now that the sad part is over...time to finish my blog, hopefully on a much happier note. :)
Wednesday:
When I woke up I really wasn't feeling well...physically. Ugh..
I did the reading for my art class, some laundry...and then left to go to the museum for my 2:00 art class. I still hadn't eaten lunch at this point....terrible idea.
I found the gallery and since I was early, I decided to go get some food so that I could take some medication...because I would get truly sick if I took it on an empty stomach.
It took awhile to find a place...but I got food in me and scurried back for class...arriving right as my prof was looking around taking note of who was missing. I was a little out of breath and more clammy than I should have been...and I still didn't feel well. Apparently I looked it too...because my professor noticed.
At this point I had eaten...but in my hurry to get to class, I hadn't taken a swig of water to even take the advil yet. And there I was with guards in each room of the gallery and I didn't know if they would freak out on me for drinking in the exhibits. But I was in pain, so I had to sneak it behind the back of a friend.
The advil didn't kick in for the first hour and it was torture standing at each painting while my professor talked and my legs, back, and stomach were aching. I tried to sit as often as I could.
Hot to cold, hot to cold...clammy....yugh...
At one point I started getting dizzy and felt like I might throw up....but luckily that wore off fast.
It's a shame, because this was actually a very cool private collection of paintings...and I couldn't enjoy it. FINALLY the advil kicked in and I was able to join in. We did some sketches of the artworks...I liked that. :)
Afterwards, a friend and I went to check out a Disney store we saw on a nearby street.
Tangled display! A huge one! With the tower! :) I'm such a Disney nerd. haha!
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| check out all that Tangled pink! |
Then we went and got a cookie from Ben's cookies. Milk Chocolate Chunk. Totally worth it! And I think I deserved that melt-in-your-mouth, gooey piece of heaven after how my day went. lol!
Wednesday night we went on a "Ghost Walk" about Jack the ripper. We started at the Tower of London, which looked really cool at night, and our awesome tour guide led us around the dark corners of London telling gruesome stories about Jack the Ripper.
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| Tower of London at night |
Well, I think that I'll end this post here. I had planned on going to bed by midnight tonight...and here it is after 1 in the morning and I've only written about three days. Believe me, I'd stay up and write more...but I have a reason to get up early on a Saturday morning tomorrow. :)
...sigh, I had a feeling this might happen. I'd get carried away with "descriptiveness."
Cheers my lovelies!
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