I went to a concert the other day of a gal I knew from Civil War Dances the Marion Homeschoolers would put on, Ally Marie, and a metal band from Martelle called While We Were Lost. Ally sang a song I fell in love with and am learning how to play on my guitar. :) It's darling!

Boys and Bugs

I like boys that like to smile
Laugh at themselves once in awhile
That can sit and talk for hours
Then in the morning pick me flowers
Boys that like to be very clean
That are never ever, ever mean
And can tell a witty joke
Boys that do not like to smoke.

One day I'll find you
One day I'll find you

I like boys that aren't afraid of bugs,
That will always give me big warm hugs
Like to sing and play guitar,
That are happy being who they are
Boys that like to be outside
And that aren't full of pride
Boys that have an honest passion with at least a slight hint of fashion.

One day I'll find you
One day I'll find you

I like that boys that are funny and artistic,
That are mostly optimistic
Boys that are not very lazy,
A little weird but not too crazy
Boys that arent afraid to cry,
And will always give a second try
And will try to do they're best,
I want a boy not like the rest

One day I'll find you
One day I'll find you


Merry Christmas

Bad Habits

I'm sitting in the window in GCS, sipping my cappuccino and listening to someone play Moonlight Sonata on the piano whilst I write my paper on the construction of the church of Saint Peter's (well, taking a break at the moment). The sight is breathtaking, with ice and now on the window roof and the snow covered pond and Christmas decorated landscape outside, while I'm nice and warm inside. 
ahhh.
How come I never did homework in this spot before?
For a brief second I thought to myself, I need to see if my mornings are free next semester so that I can come here more often for quiet time to do homework/hang out with Jesus.
Then I remembered I won't be here and got slightly sad...

lol, you would think, with all these sad posts about having to leave that I don't want to go to London. But that simply isn't true. I am very excited, I promise. I'm just terrible at saying goodbye to the good things I already have. It's a terrible habit of mine. I tend to try to hold on to what "I think" is good and comfortable for me, even though God may have something incredible planned for me in the future. I hate leaving things and people I love, even when I know I will be back. 
But I promise, once I'm in London, I will be fine. I know it will be an amazing experience.
And let me tell you, with all the stuff I've learned in Art History this semester, I'm SO EXCITED to actually see this stuff in person!!!

I'm done with Spanish classes forever, and I wooped my Art History written final exam "in the pants!" (As Sara would say). Then after starting my paper I gave up all motivation to watch Dirty Dancing, my favorite episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, and the Return of the King last night. lol...yes, that is a lot of TV.
And I'm going to go see Tangled again tonight. :)

mmm...she's now playing Pirates of the Caribbean on that piano. Lovely lovely.

Okay...now back to this paper. Once I finish it, I'm done!!

All I want for Christmas

 So sometimes when I am upset I hug my stuffed monkey named Oo Oo...he's been my pal since I was about one year old. And he may have lost all of his fur because I loved it off (and a few rounds through the washing machine), but he's still precious to me.
I was hugging him last night because I've just been so stressed and emotional. (It's finals week...being an emotional wreck kind of goes with it). However, I think hugging him did something to my subconscious.

I dreamed that I owned my own zoo. One of the animals was an Orangutan monkey with long red hair. He liked to give me hugs and he was warm and soft. Then I realized my lemur was lost in my house somewhere and as I was searching to find it, I discovered a ton of bats in my closet...scary.

I woke up sad because all my life I've wanted a pet monkey...

and in my dream I had a hugging real-life Oo Oo

Hence...all I want for Christmas is a pet monkey

and you

...but that's a song :)  

oh c'mon...SO CUTE!!!

Just...a lot of tears

I'm so bad at goodbyes.

Dreaming of a White Christmas

IT'S SNOWING!!!
Yay!!! I was starting to think I wouldn't get to see snow on this campus this semester! :)

The candlelight concert was fabulously breathtaking last night. mmm. Douwstra looked absolutely gorgeous...and well....beautiful singing, pretty sounds, and stringed instruments...*swoon*

hehe...good episode

now time to make some chai tea, curl up with a blanket, and make some Art History flash cards.

Also, my roommates are adorable.
"I wish all days could be like this...where it's snowing and warm inside and we can sleep in and not have to do anything."

Feisty

Apparently I need to be more feisty
Kevin told me so
....well then! lol, I've never been told this before

From Dictionary.com:

feist·y

1.full of animation, energy, or courage; spirited; spunky; plucky: The champion is faced with a feisty challenger.

2.ill-tempered; pugnacious.

3.troublesome; difficult: feisty legal problems.

(Apparently, people on this campus don't know me as well as they think. I'm a redhead...feistiness pretty much comes with the hair. lol)

speaking of feisty....can't wait to see those feisty old ladies again at work next Monday

Also, need a better way to waste time than facebook or the new "like a wimp" (likealittle) websites, improve your vocabulary, AND SAVE THE WORD
Go to freerice.com
Do it!

The end of this semester is quickly approaching...
my last days in this room...
with Chelsea as a third roommate.
saying some of the first goodbyes....
Crap...this is getting real.

That day is not going to be pleasant. I will cry.
"and as the years go by, our friendship will never die. You're gonna see it's our destiny....you gotta friend in me."

Circumcision (it's only awkward if you make it awkward....read on)

I'm opting to journal right now instead of all the little projects I need to finish for classes tomorrow...that's fine. :)

Besides having a cold and having coughing attacks interrupt important events and having to drink tea so much that I have to pee all the time (which is okay, I like tea), nothing much is wrong with me.
I didn't much like have a coughing tizzy during the last song of our concert, that happens to be one of my favorites to play, and trying to hold it back so much that I have tears going down my face. Yugh...

"and I'm restless, I'm restless, till I rest in you."

I want it to snow so badly. If it doesn't snow this week, I won't be able to see snow on this campus (which is beautiful btw) until next year. I prayed for snow last night and did a snow dance or two....mainly because last year at the Candelight service it snowed. *And it was magical* We walked back to campus with large fluffy flakes illuminated by the street lights and a stillness in the air...sliding through the streets and giggling like children.
But alas...it didn't snow :( Not until this morning, and it didn't even accumulate on the ground...poo

it's been an eventful weekend
Friday night I saw Tangled
Glorious! (check this out)
I might even buy it when it comes out...and that's saying a lot
Although when I found out shortly after the movie that Mandy Moore is the voice of Rapunzel, I must say, I was a tad disappointed. (not the biggest fan) But that's alright.
Afterward a group of us went to Smo Row and just hung out. That was fun. I learned a lot more about those girls than I thought I would. lol

Favorite Drink? Home-made lemonade in the summer, in a mason jar. And hot cider during the cold months.
Favorite place to hang out with family/friends? With family - Wisconsin. With friends - well, in the past I would say church camp. Now...probably smokey row or Red Rock.
Describe your perfect day? It would be summer and I would wake up before the sunrise, but not be tired. I love that crisp fresh morning air...reminds me of camp. I'd watch the sunrise and have some prayer/bible time before going for a run. Then I might have breakfast at a cute coffee shop with just a few people I'm close with. Sometime during the day, Mr. Wonderful will finally show up and sweep me off my feet. The day will consist of a lot of nature, walks in the park, sunset at the beach, dancing in the rain. I might create some sort of artwork or song or be inspired somehow throughout the day (whether from a concert or whatever). Meeting Rob Bell in person would be awesome, also doing some traveling and exploring. Picnic outside for lunch and cooking dinner...I'm feeling spaghetti...then throw some swing dancing and star-gazing in there. Sigh...
Favorite Ice Cream? Cake batter. I also love Mint Chip
Favorite Home-cooked meal? deviled eggs...and yes, that can be a meal for me :)
Favorite Fictional Character? Male: Aragorn (Aladdin is also a keeper), Female: Eowyn....yes
If you could travel anywhere, where?  Besides Europe and all the places I know I'll go there...I've always wanted to see the Taj Mahal and to travel the LOTR trail in New Zealand.

Speaking of traveling. Mandy and I will be visiting film locations in England from the movie Pride and Prejudice...one of my favorite movies.  SO EXCITED!!!

ah, such a good movie. We also watched this Saturday night :)

Saturday after working all day I went to Sara's Aunt's house and had some wonderful pasta made by wonderful friends before skipping over to Encounter.

Encounter Transformation
Woah buddy.
The lesson topic was about circumcision.
and it wasn't as awkward as you might think
We learned more about how it was meant to be a sign for us.
To be vulnerable and available enough for God to work in our lives...to mold us into better people....cutting off unnecessary flesh and sin.
Emphasis on "God working"....not "human striving." Human striving always fails. But when we surrender even our striving "to be good" to Him, he'll work. And sometimes His working is painful, but afterward we can see that His fingerprints were all over it.
I really liked this lesson.

During the prayertime I saw a few images...the first was of a pink blossom on a tree similar to a Magnolia blossom in the springtime.

There was only one beautifully fragile blossom on this tree in the springtime, even some snow still on the ground.
I'm not sure exactly what it meant, but it felt like a promise from God
like...I'm growing...even if everything around me still feels cold and dead
I'm growing and blooming. He's bringing fresh new things to my life.
and I'm excited for them.
It was also an encouragement....a reminder of how beautiful I am in his sight....even if I'm not fully bloomed. :)
I thought it was interested that when Jean led us through prayer questions, the image I saw for "ask him how he sees your sin" was a snake. But the snake seemed weak. Jean emphasized that Jesus is not condemning
my eyes welled up with tears....
so often I condemn myself for my sin, but Jesus knows I'm weak and it's because Satan...because of the evil in the unseen world that I sin

The last picture I saw as I surrendered my heart little by little was an image of another closed blossom. It was white and breathtaking, with pink at its tips...and as it opened, my heart quickened knowing something magnificent was inside it. I anxiously waited as it opened slowly and a bright light shone out of it until it was fully open and I was exposed to a great blast of light that just seemed to suck me in. But it was a peaceful, joyful kind of light...warm.

I have realized this past semester, more than anything, that the desire within me for love...especially in looking and desperately seeking for a future spouse...is so locked within my core that no matter how hard I try...I can't seem to shake how often I think about it.
I've tried so many ways to be content with being single at this point in my life.
I've heard it said that once you become content, that's when God will surprise you with what you wanted all along.
And I believe this.
I also believe that Jesus is all I need, he's enough for me and satisfies in such a way that no boy ever could.
I've heard everything there is to hear about being the apple of His eye, His bride, patience in waiting....everything.
But nothing helps. No matter how hard I try...I still constantly think about having someone...to care for me and know me through and through...going out of their way to know me...still loving my faults.
But Human Striving...always fails.
I can't shake such a desire that takes up a huge part of me on my own.
In fact, I believe God gives us these desires for a reason! But often Satan can take them and use them against us.
So, for once....I'm not trying to be content. I've stopped trying to do anything about it....
Instead I'm opening myself...my heart...to how he wants to work and heal me and fill whatever hole it produces.
I'm so sick of the self-pity, the desperate seeking, as if I'm the wayward bride throwing herself at any attention and love she receives.
I can't....but he can.
He has promised good things.
So often we hear the promise...but when it doesn't happen right away, we think it's our duty to strive to fulfill them...messing up how much good he plans to give us if we just wait and allow him to work.

I think as humans we somehow feel that we have to do works in order to bring about the promises of God, and really...our own happiness. I just had a conversation with someone about this. How we even get wrapped up in doing service to others, which don't get me wrong is a GOOD thing, but we find so much happiness in doing good things that when we are too busy to do them....our joy is somehow sucked away. God is going to work no matter what...we don't have to feel like we're going to screw up his plan if we don't strive to serve, seek, learn, whatever...

Sometimes we're fool enough to think that we're big enough to mess up God's plan.

~Merely Mortal~

Tea and Tales

Tea for my scratchy throat
tea before bed makes me miss Joy, who would read us a bedtime story while we sipped Candy Cane Lane or Sleepy time tea before bed...hugging our stuffed animals. lol. Yes, we are in college.
I also think of my old friend Dan from when I went to Nebraska Christian College.
On a couple of occasions he brought me some tea to the lobby when I wasn't feeling well.
I think that is one of the kindest things any non-related guy has ever done for me.

We need more chivalry like that.
I wonder how the level of chivalry in London will relate to here.

"Feed the Birds...tupence a bag...tupence. tupence. tupence a bag."

Tonight has been full of God-breathed surprises.
For the manuscript study that I lead, I had no idea what passage to study tonight...
half an hour before my group was going to show up, I was laying on the couch praying that God would lead me to a passage. I let my mind wander slightly and "Joel" popped in my head.
Hmm...Is Joel even a book? (I thought it was...but I'd never read it so I grabbed my Bible and sure enough, it's right after Hosea).
So I read through it...just a three chapter book...and loved it!
So instead of our usual chapter from one of the Gospels, we just had an informal study and discussion on the book of Joel.
SO GOOD!
I love it when God works like that.
He spoke to me through the passages in the drama and poetic, beautiful writing.
It's one of those books that you feel like you have to read it increasingly faster...as if it's a race to the finish....because it is so intense.
I discovered what Mt. Zion is tonight. I never realized that it actually refers to the city of Jerusalem...so that's good to know, it gave some passages more meaning. I love learning little facts like that...because they're "not-so-little" to God. :)

Joel 2:12-13
"Even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity."
Compassion. It's not an outward passive action...such as tearing clothes.  But a heart-wrenching...broken emotion, that "tears the heart." We are to be grieved at our sin and the condition of the world. A pouring out of the soul, returning to our Creator...who is compassionate Himself.

2: 21-23
Be not afraid, O land; be glad and rejoice. Surely the Lord has done great things.
Be not afraid, O wild animals, for the open pastures are becoming green. The trees are bearing their fruit; the fig tree and the vine yield their riches.
Be glad, O people of Zion, rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given you the autumn rains in righteousness. 
He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before. 

Holy Crap this painting is Gorgeous!

Doesn't it sound so lovely and poetic. I'm a sucker for colors and nature...namely green, autumn, and rain. :)

Then, after manuscript study I randomly decided to go out to Smokey Row and get a steamed apple cider (which they were out of...sad day). I got a lot of homework done though and I feel like I was there for some unknown purpose of God's because of some interactions I had with the people there.

God does indeed work in mysterious ways.
I think he knows that I'm attracted to mysterious things...
I've always been fascinated in the supernatural
...whether it be Santa Clause, fairies, Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings...
mystical, magic, and fantasy has always captivated me.
I have a God who immortal and all-powerful.
When I creeped on the choir rehearsal last night, the director explained the meaning of one of the CHRISTmas songs. It was meant to sound very mysterious, which when you think about it...the birth of Christ is just that! God...being born as a baby.
A baby?
Through a virgin? And a peasant young teenager virgin?
So many questions accompany the CHRISTmas story.
It's one of the reasons I love Him, I will never uncover all of the mysteries.

He fills that desire within me for fantasy, and magic.

~Merely Mortal

Snowflakes and Prayer Paintings

This week has been great so far and is only going to get better...I can feel it in my bones. :)

I don't understand how it can be almost 50 degree weather yesterday and today be freezing and snowy.  Oh wait...yes I can...it's Iowa.

First snow of the semester. That actually collected on the ground.
Powdery dry snow.
When I was wiping the windows during my work study in Central Market I noticed a single flake stuck to the other side of the glass...right in the middle of the window.
I caught myself staring at it with my hand still paused in the air.
So beautiful.
Perfectly unmelted delicate geometry

Good grief...how my Lord romances me! :)

Mmm...simple beauty in mundane tasks.

Also, I enjoy hearing loud phone conversations about duck hunting behind me while I walk to class. lol


Dove chocolates peppermint bark
Steamed caramel apple cider
Role playing in Human Relations...hilarious (LEROY JENkins!!)
scarves
David's reaction to the lion I finished drawing for him
curling up under a warm blanket...with little to NO homework
AND...Sedona finally called me back. I have a job for Christmas break! Hallelujah...much needed travel money! I'm excited to see all those old ladies again at the factory.

"if you want to get it good girl, get yourself a...bad boy" ~yep, Backstreet boys...this was my "I feel like a rebel cause I like this song" song when I was in like fourth grade.

Speaking of the drawing I gave to David...I have this idea.
I want to make more of those prayer drawings/paintings in the future. I think that would be so awesome! I could even sell them. I could make an appointment with whomever and pray over them, jotting down notes of the images God gives me...and then create a prayer painting with verses and a prayer for them.
Man, I want to do this! With only a couple weeks left of school though...I don't know if it will become a reality....
Well, if anyone who actually reads this wants a prayer painting...let me know. I think I would charge $10 and the money would go to a good cause (probably Rapha House or something like that)

Lord, I want you to use my gifts to further your kingdom.

and this is just cute...a painting turtle (came up when I was searching Google images)

Also, we got the results from my Dad's MRI last night. He has a bulging disc in his back and will need physical therapy everyday for the next couple weeks. My Mom is now tending the chores on our hog farm all by herself whist he gets betters. Prayers for quick healing and a peace that passes understanding would be appreciated.

~Merely Mortal

Monday Monday...so good to me

Well, today started off with a bang.
I got up thinking I could get ready for my TB check appointment at health services in 20 minutes. But shortly after rolling out of bed I got a call from a lady at health services informing me that I was 10 minutes late for my appointment and should get there immediately...(or, so it sounded, I would put their entire schedule for the day into total chaos). Apparently my appointment was at 8:00, not 8:30, as I had thought.
It's a good thing I've mastered the "get ready in 5-10 minutes" thing.

I understand that they had to check my arm within so many hours of the TB test, but they didn't need to freak out about me being late to my appointment. It only takes about five seconds to look at my arm and call it good anyway. lol.


On the bright side, I actually got my chai tea before going to class this morning...and some extra alone time, which is rare these days.

So good So good!

It might be time for a nap. I had one of those toss an turn...weird dreams...sort of night. Good weird dreams, but the kind that don't allow you to sleep well. Nothing like my dream the other night though, when I had the ability to climb the side of buildings like Spiderman....or another night when I flew around inside my old church.

Hmm, superhero theme in my subconscious? Fantastic...I just wish I could save the world and not wake up still exhausted.

On a slightly...but not really...related note. Last night I was laying in bed and my alarm clock fell to the floor. I pointed at it and groggily said "accio" and waited a few seconds before realizing that it wasn't actually going to fly into my hand.

So...the nap didn't work out and I went to the balcony in Douwstra like a creeper and listened to the choir rehearse instead.
Sigh...such beautiful sounds...and CHRISTmas music.

Always always a good thing. :)
Speaking of choirs and CHRISTmas music...check this out. I miss this. Good ol' NCC gospel choir.

It's rainy outside...but in the 40's...and almost December! Yes please!
Rain didn't stop me from standing on a tall cement block on the way back from dinner and then Sara gave me a piggy-back ride to Graham...even up the steps (Miss Muscles!!). But then we got to giggling so hard we had to stop...only to break out into singing Bohemian Rhapsody in our room.


I love life.

Surreal

No, I'm not a material girl
But can I just say how excited I am that my mother just ordered this Canon Powershot S95 for me?! Happy Christmas and Birthday combined...lol.
This is one of the few items that I really wanted before going abroad. I've been so frustrated with the current camera that I have. Let me inspire...let me create...let me take your picture. :)
Let the scrapbooking begin!

Also, I've been trying to decide what coat to bring and finally just settled on getting a new one. Hopefully this London Fog coat will fit me right. I ordered the black...it will be gorgeous for sure, but let's just hope it will keep my warm...and dry. :)

Yesterday was the first time I had ever been shopping on Black Friday in Cedar Rapids
mmm...I think I'll just stick to online deals during Black Friday in the future :)
I hate crowds...and congested traffic.
Mom and I went to Khols...and got a really nice swivel-wheel three piece luggage set (here I go...being all materialistic again. I promise, I'm really not that bad)...and the line was clear back by the shoes!! 20 minute wait. Best Buy and Wal-Mart were also insane. yugh...I'm claustrophobic in large groups of people.

So things are falling into place. Everyday I'm checking more off my list.
Just bought my plane ticket the other day
waiting for my visa to arrive in the mail
coat...luggage...camera.
Physical taken care of
Basically, I just need my visa and I'm ready to go!

It's happening. I'm actually going to Europe for 4 months.

Surreal

~Merely Mortal

Merely Mortal

This is not my first online journal of sorts.

Back when Xanga was "the thing" I had two accounts
first: ElfGurl_luvsSF
My Switchfoot and LOTR fanatic self came up with this username...I haven't much changed :)
second: JC_FreakForLife
I guess my faith became much more important to me that I felt the need to create a new name. lol.

Thus...with these xangas I recorded the minuscule concerns of my emotionally insecure and selfish teenage life that nobody really cared about but I considered important enough to blast into cyberspace because I was too quiet to tell anyone in the real world. (ah the life of a shy teenager...)
Eventually this got old because I realized that the hidden messages I left for certain individuals in my rants and musings...weren't actually read by the people I intended them for. How frustrating...lol

Then facebook boomed into existence...
And my public blogging ceased, although I kept one personal private blog.

anyways....

I'm going abroad to London for a semester.
I figured a public blog would be a great way to record my travels for friends and family back home to read and keep up to date with where I am and what I am doing.
But more than that, for my own benefit.
I love to go back and read old journals and to see how much I've grown.
For sure, I will grow up a whole heck of a lot while living independently in London for four months.
So...this is more of an adventure journal in the making than anything.
And if you know me...

you know how much I love adventures!
:)


First, let me explain the name of this blog, how I thought of the name Merely Mortal. I came upon it a long time ago when I was reading through Psalms in my New Living Translation Bible. I loved how "mere mortal" flowed off the tongue and how it is used it in this passage:

Psalm 8

For the choir director: A psalm of David, to be accompanied by a stringed instrument.

¹ O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!
Your glory is higher than the heavens.
² You have taught children and infants
to tell of your strength,
silencing your enemies
and all who oppose you. ³ When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—
the moon and the stars you set in place—
⁴ what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?
⁵ Yet you made them only a little lower than God
and crowned them with glory and honor.
⁶ You gave them charge of everything you made,
putting all things under their authority—
⁷ the flocks and the herds
and all the wild animals,
⁸ the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea,
and everything that swims the ocean currents.
⁹ O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!

Isn't it lovely? :)
Our God
who created the universe and every beautiful thing that I encounter each and every day
can look on me
a mere mortal
and love me and crown me as His bride.

I can't wait to explore even more of his creation overseas!

~Merely Mortal